Questions for J. M. Reines

Someone recently asked me a series of questions about my life, my desires, and the way I choose to live. Since I’ve always believed in honesty, I thought I’d share my answers here. I’ve never been one to hide who I am—after all, I’ve always considered myself an open book.

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Q: Where did you get the ideas for your novels?

A: I first sketched out the foundation of my Obsession stories more than twenty years ago. Back then, they were simply a collection of short pieces I wrote for my own enjoyment. Over time, I revisited them again and again—refining the language, reshaping characters, and adjusting plotlines. I believe I changed the name of the main character three times before I finally settled on Jessi. While many details evolved, the core structure of those stories has always remained intact.

Though my work is fiction, it’s deeply rooted in reality. Much of what I write is inspired by my own experiences, as well as stories shared with me by friends and people I’ve met along the way. Some moments lifted straight from life—like driving completely naked or riding on the back of a motorcycle without a stitch of clothing—found their way onto the page.

Even the more intense and emotionally raw and dark elements are grounded in truth. They reflect both the beauty and the darkness that life can offer. My goal has always been to capture not just the events themselves, but the emotions and sensations tied to them—the feelings that linger long after the moment has passed.

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Q: Are you the Jessi in your stories?

A: Yes—and no. There’s a great deal of me in Jessi, but I see parts of myself in Rebecca as well. I think that’s true for most writers—we inevitably weave pieces of who we are into the characters we create. It’s how we give them emotional depth and authenticity. Jessi, in particular, is a blend of influences: fragments of my own experiences mixed with traits and moments drawn from people I’ve encountered in my journey.

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Q: How did your journey into a more intense sexual lifestyle begin?

A: It started as a fantasy—something that lived quietly in the back of my mind for as long as I can remember. I can’t point to a single reason why, but the idea of letting go of control and stepping into situations that pushed my limits always intrigued me. There’s something incredibly freeing about choosing to surrender in a consensual way.

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Q: What was your childhood like, and did it shape your openness today?

A: In some ways, yes. Like many of the characters I write, I experienced loss early in life. I grew up in a modest home as the youngest child, and I think that environment left me craving attention and connection. Looking back, those feelings may have played a role in shaping who I’ve become.

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Q: Do you enjoy pain or domination? What appeals to you most?

A: Pain itself isn’t something I enjoy—it actually takes me out of the moment. What I do connect with is the feeling of being overpowered in a consensual, controlled environment. I’m drawn to restraint, to the idea of being held in place and directed. There’s a kind of beauty in it, especially with things like rope work when it’s done with care and intention.

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Q: What emotions do you experience when you’re being dominated?

A: It’s a mix—vulnerability, a bit of fear, and a strong sense of desire. It’s important to me that everything is discussed beforehand. Communication, limits, and safe words are essential, and they create the foundation that allows me to fully experience those emotions safely.

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Q: What aspects make you feel most vulnerable or exposed?

A: Being seen—truly seen—can feel incredibly intense. There’s a certain vulnerability in exposure, in knowing others might be watching. It’s a mix of daring and self-awareness, and yes, sometimes even a little embarrassment. That contrast is part of what makes it so powerful for me.

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Q: How do you establish boundaries and maintain a sense of safety?

A: Clear communication always comes first. Limits and expectations are discussed openly, and safe words are non-negotiable. I also make sure I’m in environments where I feel protected and supported. That sense of safety is what allows me to let go.

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Q: How do you fulfill your deeper desires—both physically and emotionally?

A: By living honestly. I believe in experiencing life fully, as long as no one is being harmed. Being true to yourself is the most important part of that journey.

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Q: How do you separate emotional and physical fulfillment?

A: For me, physical experiences are about excitement and exploration—like a thrill or an adventure. Emotional connection, though, runs much deeper. That’s where love lives, and it exists on an entirely different level.

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Q: How does your sense of self-worth shift during intense experiences?

A: In a surprising way, it strengthens. Feeling desired and chosen can be incredibly empowering.

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Q: Do you prefer to dominate or be dominated?

A: I’m naturally submissive. That’s where I feel most authentic. Dominance doesn’t come naturally to me in my personal life.

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Q: What do you feel before and after an intense experience?

A: Beforehand, there’s always a moment of hesitation—a quiet voice asking, “What am I about to do?” It can bring a mix of nerves and doubt. But then something shifts, and I step past that fear, choosing to trust the moment and embrace the experience. It feels like a leap of faith every time.

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These are deeply personal reflections, but they’re also a reminder of something simple: understanding yourself—your desires, your boundaries, your emotions—is a journey worth taking.